Friday, October 31, 2014

Being a HalloWEENIE

First, the costume so you can oooooo and ahhhhhhhh.




She wore Aunt Meg's old Fayetteville Bulldog cheerleader uniform, and she thought she was hot stuff!  On the way to our old neighborhood to trick or treat with friends, she gave me a speech about how cute costumes are much nicer than scary costumes - because it's not polite to scare people.  We're not prissy or anything.

I'd also like to take a minute to pat myself on the back.  As usual, I had procrastinated on a Halloween costume, and Emma was saying she wanted to be a "military girl."  I wasn't sure what kind of costume that would be, but it sounded like it would take a lot of driving and some effort.  I suggested being a cheerleader because we already had that in her closet, then my in-laws found her aunt's old uniform and that just made the deal even sweeter.  Lazy Halloween Mom wins again!  And by again, I'm referring to the lackluster cowgirl costume of 2012. 


We met Emma's friends Caitlin and Gracee to trick or treat.


I don't know why it's so blurry.  That kind of bummed me out - kind of like getting an Almond Joy in your trick or treat bucket.

We started through the neighborhood in her friend's Mule.  If you've read my blog for a while, you know that it's not a real mule.  I know that too ... now.  Last year when Caitlin's mom suggested we trick or treat in the Mule, I thought we were going to have to ride a donkey through the streets.  I was very glad to see it was a little ATV.  We lasted about 20 minutes because today Arkansas decided it was time to be cold and the Mule doesn't have windows.  We may have worn shorts all through October, but game over.  It's time to trick or treat with a coat on. 

We came back and piled in my van.  By that time, we had picked up another mom, another girl, Gracee's brother and his two friends.  So that makes....10?  11?  I don't know.  It was a lot.  Theyjust kind of piled in and sat on each other's laps.  It was how we rode to school in the 70's before people cared about seat belts.

 I always thought that people who drove their kids around to trick or treat were really lame.  I have had a total change of heart.  When it's cold outside and you are a weenie, driving is completely acceptable. 



This was part of my van - I couldn't get everyone in the picture.  That's Emma peeking over the ballplayer's shoulder.  I wish she'd get some personality.  I think I'll be driving again next year because I've decided I like being warm.  I am the HalloWEENIE.

Saturday, October 11, 2014

The Retainer, or a device made to torture mothers

 
 
Remember when Will got his braces off and he had nice straight teeth?  Well, it's going to be a distant memory because I can't get him to wear his retainer. Let me start by saying that he told me it was lost, and after looking for 20 seconds, I found it under his bed.  I don't have x-ray vision or super powers.  I have a brain and I used it, WILL
 
We were at my mom's all afternoon for the Arkansas/Alabama game and I nagged Will constantly to put the dang thing in.  He had excuses, avoided me, or was "about to get a snack."  He also successfully used the art of distraction several times by pointing out imaginary animals and airplanes.  I'm pretty sure the retainer was never in his mouth.
 
It's 10:30 at night and my mom just called to see if one of my kids left a retainer from Northwest Orthodontics in a blue case.  Oh yes, and I'm sure it wasn't an accident.  I don't have ESP or super powers.  I'm not stupid, WILL
 
Tomorrow morning, I'm using Liquid Nails to put that thing in his mouth. 
 
 


Thursday, October 9, 2014

I don't lie

Remember when I said how Kevin thought the "Hot Buns" looked like a maxi pad?
 
 

No exaggeration there. 

Wednesday, October 8, 2014

Emma's Birthday - Part 1

I'll warn you - there will probably be a part 2, 3, and 4.  Prepare yourself.  Lay in a supply of snacks, Diet Coke, and No Doze


Emma got to open her presents from us a day early.  We were going to the pumpkin patch/petting zoo/corn maze from h*** and she seemed to think there would be a gift that would come in handy.  How she reached that conclusion, I have no idea.  It couldn't be the package that was delivered while she was riding her bike.  The package that was in a labeled box....it was like the pogo stick experience all over again.

So, the gifts....



Emma wanted perfect buns for her birthday, I mean, a perfect bun.  I'm the one who wants perfect buns, but don't think they come in a little box from the Walmarts.  Look how excited she is!  Guess what?  We can't get the stupid thing to work.  The excitement level is dropping.  (Kevin also said it looks like a maxi-pad.  I'll have to get a picture).




Then, Will gave her a gift card to Build a Bear.  Emma told Will that she wanted one, but was worried that 10 was too old for Build a Bear.  Now, this was a PRIME teasing opportunity, and Will is not one to pass up any opportunity to mock his sister.  However, he said, "I don't think 10 is too old.  I think there are girls at my school that still like Build a Bear."  I'm telling you - it's like the sky opened and the angels sang that day!





She also got spiral rollers - like 10,000 times easier to use that the perfect bun.  I guess that just proves that perfect buns really are hard to achieve.





Then she read some cards.





Like, every word.  She read every word.  This is the difference between Will and Emma.  Will says, "Oh a card," and searches for money before pushing it aside.  This one reads every bit of it, then reminds you what was in last year's card. 



So, none of these gifts seem real helpful for a pumpkin patch, not even perfect buns.  Well, ok, perfect buns are helpful anywhere, who am I kidding?  But, these weren't the gift that Emma was looking for.




Yup, it was the North Face, or the "No Face" as she calls it.  She had fits every day last year about wearing her big puffy coat to school.  I don't know what the deal was, but if big warm coats are incredibly uncool.  I don't get it.  When I'm cold, I want to be warm.  I don't care if I look like the Michelin Man.  Hopefully this will be warm enough for most days.  Oh, and in case you didn't get the hint from the picture - EMMA IS 10! 




She is a tenager.  Please help us.





She even practiced her attitude at the pumpkin patch.



Sunday, October 5, 2014

Happy Emma Day!


I'm still being a total blog slacker, but I couldn't let today go by without a "Happy Birthday" post for Emma.  My sweet baby is 10 today, and I'm in shock!  I was telling her stories about holding her in the hospital, and I feel like that was yesterday.  A lady at her school told me she is a "tenager."  I'm not real sure how I feel about that....

Here is what I can tell you about Emma:
-she loves Barbie and American Girl, still (yea, yea, yea!)
-she loves anything that glitters or sparkles
-she wants to be a cheerleader, and then a tennis player (sorry Daddy)
-she loves her brother ridiculously, and that is embarrassing to him, adorable to us
-she is a smart little thing, sometimes too smart
-she still struggles with her speech, but I'd say you can understand about 90% of what she says
-she might be 10, but she still wants to snuggle and love with her Mama.  I made her promise that she'll still feel that way in 4 years.

I'm hoping this little post kick starts my blogging again.  I really am trying, but a new job and hard classes are doing me in. 

Thursday, September 18, 2014

Sink or Swim

I know that's a frequently used expression.  Just for the record - I'm sinking.  I have started my news
 job, and I love it, I really do.  But, like with any new job, I'm in the learning curve  I keep trying to remember back to my first year of teaching, and how I felt the same way for the first half of the year  Then, THEN, suddenly things got easier.  I'm ready for that moment.  I will say that I love my students.  Teaching adults is much different than teaching kids, and I'm such a little kid person, that I wasn't sure I could do this.  I guess sometimes you just have to try.

School is just a giant sinkhole.  Homework, tests, group projects, projects - I'm fully expecting my professors to send us out to do some road repairs and direct traffic in case we have too much free time.  I just took my first test tonight and I want to sit in my closet and hum.

I'm also sinking with all of my kids' activities.  Will had a tennis meet this week, and the night before he was telling me how carrying his tennis bag to school was ruining his life.  OK, get this:  He has to put the bag in the car, draaaaaaaaaag it into school, go alllllllll the way down the hall with it, then put the bag in Mrs. Reynold's room.  Are you exhausted after reading that?  I mean, thank goodness the kid is an athlete because I don't know who else could handle a workout like that.  Despite my snark, I told Will that I would drop his bag and shoes off in the Woodland office at 2:00, and he could grab them before getting on the team bus at 2:45.  YEA FOR NICE MOMMIES!

So, at 2:45, I'm sitting in car rider line waiting to get Emma when I get a text from Will that says:

Where is my tennis bag and shoes?



Me.  They are in the Woodland office.  Go get them.

Will:  Can you bring them to me?

At that moment I decided he had lost his mind.  He couldn't go down the hall and get his own bag and shoes?  What next - would he want me to go on the court and serve for him? 

Me.  No, you need to get your own bag.

Will:  I can't  I'm on the team bus.

Me:  What?  Get off the bus and go get your bag  NOW!

Will:  You don't understand.  The bus is moving.

Me:  WILL!  WHY ON EARTH WOULD YOU GET ON THE BUS WITHOUT YOUR BAG AND SHOES?  HOW DID YOU THINK YOU WOULD PLAY?  I TOLD YOU I WOULD HAVE THEM IN THE OFFICE!

Will:  I wasn't sure we had 100% confirmed the delivery.

-oh yes, he said that-

so I didn't reply for a few minutes.  Mainly because I had no words.

Will:  Mom?

Will:  Mommy?

Will:  What should I do?

Me:  Pray

Will:  No really

Me:  For real

Will:  MOM!

That's when I pulled my big ol' van out of car rider line, checked out Emma early, drove to Woodland, grabbed the stupid bag and shoes out of the office, then headed to Springdale to meet the bus.  I had Emma text Will that we would meet him at the gym.



A whole dollar!  Thanks Will - that won't even cover the Icee and Pringles I bought at a skeevee Kum and Go for Emma's snack. 


But, the little turkey wound up winning his doubles and singles, so I couldn't stay mad for too long. 




Kevin suggested that leaving the bag and shoes might have been lucky, but I shut that thought down pretty quickly.  I don't need anymore sinking - from anyone.  We all need to swim.